Rep. Barney Frank goes to The Wiz...

AAL4:
Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) goes to The Wiz (beacuase nobody beats him). The Wiz is an electronics store in the Northeast immortalized by that little "Seinfield" reference. But I'm already off topic (sorry, this might happen a lot during this story).

Known for their expert service, Frank encounters this location's top sales clerk. He's a college student who earns more at the Wiz than most of his peers because he's paid on commission and is very good with the customers (he's probably in the upper class of "poor college students" if you will). By the way this particual college student is running up a little more student loan debt than he planned because he recently changed his major from architechure to city planning (I know that has nothing to do with anything, but bear with me).

Frank buys himself a new HDTV Projector, other home theater equipment, new computer system, police scanner, and all kinds of other electronics both for his home in Massachusetts and in Washington, DC. He also buys the extended warranty and the Wiz decided to throw in free delivery to both locations (because "Nobody beats the Wiz"). So all total let's say he spent, oh let's pick a random number, about $17,300. So now he's proud that he got a good deal, because as one of Elaine's ex-boyfriends says in the commercial, "Nobody beats The Wiz."

So Frank comes back home and sees his stuff has been delivered. Excited about the new toys he's acquired he has one the lackeys he brought back from Washington to install everything for him (I'm sorry I can't disclose the nature of the relationship between Frank and his lackey's, why am I getting distracted by this).

Anyway the time finally comes for Frank to push the power button, and boom, smoke out of amplifiers, random power surge, everything's broken. Frank just spent $17,300 on all this stuff that doesn't work. Now most customers of the Wiz know they can usually get most of their money back or exchange their products for working items, but that's not good enough for Frank.
Frank exclaims "Nobody beats the Wiz! Heh! I'm going to beat the shit out of the Wiz." So he and his lackey (again I'm not sure of the nature of this relationship, stop distracting me) take all the stuff back to the store. Now most customers know they can get all their money back or replacement items if goods are delivered damaged or defective.

The Wiz will give all the money back for the defective goods (because "Nobody beats the Wiz!"). But apparantly that's not good enough for Frank as he refuses to be refunded his $17,300. Upon arriving at the store he threatens to subpoena everyone that works at the Wiz. He wants to release the names of the sales clerks, and their income statements to the media. He threatens to fund an organiation that is going to give bus tours to see how lavishly people that work for The Wiz live. An if that isn't enough Frank demands he be refunded $16.50 back once he found out this particluar sales clerk earned a bonus for meeting his extended warranty sales goal.

Frank then screams, "If I don't get my $16.50 I'm going to go to Washington to pass a bill that all extended warranty bonuses be taxed at 90% for all electroncis clerks I buy from." (Frank also took this occasion to demand that the Wiz extend $2000 of credit to all their disadvantaged customers, regardless of their ability to repay, because HDTV is a right in this country. Again I got distracted, sorry back to the main story).

So Frank leaves without his $17,300 and heads to Washington to pass this bill. He finds an ally in Congresswoman Caroyln McCarthy (D-NY) who has a history of hating "upper class poor college students." She tells the media "A hundred percent isn't enough, if I could I would tax him a thousand percent."

Now McCarthy is demanding $165 and is screaming in the media, over this purchase Frank made for $17,300. The angry left wing donors are pouring in. "Screw the 'upper-class poor college student'." It's not fair that they have more money, especially when they sell a bad product we're stuck with. They're raising millions in campaign contributions from George Soros over this. And they are the "champions of the little guy" because they're being oppress by this evil "upper-class poor college student."

Should the Wiz keep offering the money back? Or with Frank and McCarthy just refuse it anyway because they need the campaign issue to justify the government taking over Discount Electronics stores?

Disclaimer:
I did no real research into the Wiz or their return poicies or whether or not Rep. Frank has ever been a customer. The particular story above is fictional. C'mon, it's kind of ridiculous to think elected officials might act like this real life? Isn't It....